StepMoms Deserve Love Too!
Happy Wednesday and Happy New Year. We have officially entered into the year of 2020.
It is also Hump Day, which is one of my most favorite days of the week.
The New Year is a time when a great majority of the world choose to reflect on the past year and even more so, a time to reflect on the past DECADE!!! 10 WHOLE YEARS!
One thing that I've found true over the past 10 years and even in 2019 is that every person that I have encountered desired love and acceptance.
Did it look the same? No.
Was it expressed the same? No.
Yet, there was an inner desire that was the same.
Now before we get all too mushy mushy, I want to let you know personally, that even when I met myself, yes you read it correctly, WHEN I MET MYSELF, I discovered that I desired the same.
Over the past years, I've come to the realization that MOMMIN AIN'T NO CAKE WALK and STEP-MOMMIN AIN'T NO CAKE WALK either!
Yet, Moms and Stepmoms both deserve to be loved.
I know for some of you who will read this blog, as a stepmother you have felt secretly jealous, insecure, and unloved. Some of you have felt that you were given the short end of the stick and I've even found out that some of you would have never married into a ready made family, if you were given another opportunity too, knowing what you know now.
Now notice, that I did say some and not all, because there are some stepmothers who have experienced nothing but blissfulness.
Yet back to the some of my first mentioning, for some of you that baby mom-ma, the children's biological mother haven't helped at all in your welcoming into the family.
But hey, stepmom-ma, may I let you in on a little secret?
Some biological mothers have had moments of secretly being jealous, insecure, and feeling unloved, also.
Now, I have to be honest with you, I am not a stepmother, nevertheless, I am a mother of children who have a stepmother. Honesty again, if you can handle it.....I was that bio-mom who only needed 2 hot secs, naw...... let me correct that 0.2 secs to go from 0 to 1000. (can you visualize the hand clasp, shoulder roll, with the neck jarring, as I say this)
Ohhhhh, but, there was a day that changed my entire perspective, it changed my mindset, and on that day I honestly believe that it was pivotal to a shift in my perspective.
I realized, "this women is human. just as I am!" She has feelings, she has desires, and if she did not love my children's father, she would not be here putting up with all of this, for the sake of having nothing better to do with her life. (Really)
And, just as I had a pivotal moment, I believe that if you search deep enough you may find a few moments, as well.
We all deserve to be loved, but what keeps the tock ticking isn't receiving love, but giving love.
I know some of you may be thinking, "Tiffany, I don't know about this."
Step-mom says, "I'm not ready to love her."
Bio-mom says, "I'm not ready to love her."
Coach Tiffany says to both, " Are you ready to continue living in disgruntlement?" "Is that what you want for 2020.......forever?
Moving forward with an action plan may not take you there overnight, yet if you are committed to looking ahead and not back, before you know it you will be there.
There is a popular saying that goes a little like this, "A happy wife, happy life." Deborah Carr was on it with that, for sure.
Let me introduce you to something else, that I believe, "happy mom, happy life."
Mom. PERIOD. Step or Bio!
I believe that when women come together that we have the ability to conquer so much more. Now close your eyes and think on this, "what IF I could find it in my heart to love this woman."
Yes I said this, only because, for many of you this is how you refer to the bio-mom or step-mom and I just want to met you were you are, so that we can move forward and live long happy lives.
Now here is 1 action step that I believe can help EMPOWER you, bio-mom, as you embrace your new found journey to giving love to the woman who has the ability to love your children, as well.
It's simple yet complex.....get out a pen, pencil, eyeliner, whatever you choose to write with and make 2 columns.
Column 1: What Irks Me About Her? (write until your heart is content, take your time.....days if need be, the important thing is to identify the WHATS, because I need for you to know and you need for you to know)
Column 2: Write keep or throw away beside it. (Keep meaning I'm not ready to let this go, throw away meaning I'm over it, let's move forward)
Step-mom do the exact same thing.
You see bio-mom, you birthed them babies, so you love them naturally. Yet, their step-mom, she chose to love them, and I do believe that choosing to love is so powerful.
So today, I salute you stepmom and thank you for choosing to love the babies that I birthed.
Your Relationship Coach, #BinuclerMom
Tiffany S. Logan
P.S. Leave a comment or message me back to let me know what you discovered. I would love to know!
It is also Hump Day, which is one of my most favorite days of the week.
The New Year is a time when a great majority of the world choose to reflect on the past year and even more so, a time to reflect on the past DECADE!!! 10 WHOLE YEARS!
One thing that I've found true over the past 10 years and even in 2019 is that every person that I have encountered desired love and acceptance.
Did it look the same? No.
Was it expressed the same? No.
Yet, there was an inner desire that was the same.
Now before we get all too mushy mushy, I want to let you know personally, that even when I met myself, yes you read it correctly, WHEN I MET MYSELF, I discovered that I desired the same.
Over the past years, I've come to the realization that MOMMIN AIN'T NO CAKE WALK and STEP-MOMMIN AIN'T NO CAKE WALK either!
Yet, Moms and Stepmoms both deserve to be loved.
I know for some of you who will read this blog, as a stepmother you have felt secretly jealous, insecure, and unloved. Some of you have felt that you were given the short end of the stick and I've even found out that some of you would have never married into a ready made family, if you were given another opportunity too, knowing what you know now.
Now notice, that I did say some and not all, because there are some stepmothers who have experienced nothing but blissfulness.
Yet back to the some of my first mentioning, for some of you that baby mom-ma, the children's biological mother haven't helped at all in your welcoming into the family.
But hey, stepmom-ma, may I let you in on a little secret?
Some biological mothers have had moments of secretly being jealous, insecure, and feeling unloved, also.
Now, I have to be honest with you, I am not a stepmother, nevertheless, I am a mother of children who have a stepmother. Honesty again, if you can handle it.....I was that bio-mom who only needed 2 hot secs, naw...... let me correct that 0.2 secs to go from 0 to 1000. (can you visualize the hand clasp, shoulder roll, with the neck jarring, as I say this)
Ohhhhh, but, there was a day that changed my entire perspective, it changed my mindset, and on that day I honestly believe that it was pivotal to a shift in my perspective.
I realized, "this women is human. just as I am!" She has feelings, she has desires, and if she did not love my children's father, she would not be here putting up with all of this, for the sake of having nothing better to do with her life. (Really)
And, just as I had a pivotal moment, I believe that if you search deep enough you may find a few moments, as well.
We all deserve to be loved, but what keeps the tock ticking isn't receiving love, but giving love.
I know some of you may be thinking, "Tiffany, I don't know about this."
Step-mom says, "I'm not ready to love her."
Bio-mom says, "I'm not ready to love her."
Coach Tiffany says to both, " Are you ready to continue living in disgruntlement?" "Is that what you want for 2020.......forever?
Moving forward with an action plan may not take you there overnight, yet if you are committed to looking ahead and not back, before you know it you will be there.
There is a popular saying that goes a little like this, "A happy wife, happy life." Deborah Carr was on it with that, for sure.
Let me introduce you to something else, that I believe, "happy mom, happy life."
Mom. PERIOD. Step or Bio!
I believe that when women come together that we have the ability to conquer so much more. Now close your eyes and think on this, "what IF I could find it in my heart to love this woman."
Yes I said this, only because, for many of you this is how you refer to the bio-mom or step-mom and I just want to met you were you are, so that we can move forward and live long happy lives.
Now here is 1 action step that I believe can help EMPOWER you, bio-mom, as you embrace your new found journey to giving love to the woman who has the ability to love your children, as well.
It's simple yet complex.....get out a pen, pencil, eyeliner, whatever you choose to write with and make 2 columns.
Column 1: What Irks Me About Her? (write until your heart is content, take your time.....days if need be, the important thing is to identify the WHATS, because I need for you to know and you need for you to know)
Column 2: Write keep or throw away beside it. (Keep meaning I'm not ready to let this go, throw away meaning I'm over it, let's move forward)
Step-mom do the exact same thing.
You see bio-mom, you birthed them babies, so you love them naturally. Yet, their step-mom, she chose to love them, and I do believe that choosing to love is so powerful.
So today, I salute you stepmom and thank you for choosing to love the babies that I birthed.
Your Relationship Coach, #BinuclerMom
Tiffany S. Logan
P.S. Leave a comment or message me back to let me know what you discovered. I would love to know!
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