3 Reasons Why Your Children's Biological Father Won't Leave

Around 9 months ago, I began introducing my family to you. What many of you know and for those of you who do not know I am remarried with 2 children from a previous marriage. I also have 1 child with my Husband. Somewhere in between, I've buried 2 children and had a miscarriage.

Some of you may be saying, “What a minute?” Or you may be scratching your head trying to figure out what I just said. Well, here it is, basically, I am remarried with 3 children.

When my Husband and I decided to date, my son was only 3, he is now less than 6 months from 18 and my middle daughter was only 1. She will soon be 16. Too soon!!!! I'm not ready, she is my Vanilla Bean!

Our family dynamics forced me to learn how to communicate in an effective manner with people who I honestly thought I would always hate, roll my eyes, and suck my teeth at. Come on now, some of you know what I mean. Let's just be honest, we were not always mature! Also, let truth be truth and say that it did not start out effective, at all.

When that relationship was over, and some of you will understand this, I wanted to be done with their dad! It’s like why are you here? Wellllll…..maybe because we were married at some point, you laid down with me, had my children, and that about sums it up! So BAM , here I am! 

Too funny right? Those are the facts though!

Nevertheless, learning how to communicate through custody, child support, daily living, making important decisions, was a difficult task. I can remember one time sitting in the courtroom and I became so angry that I ripped my necklace off to keep my mouth from getting me locked up.

I can only imagine the look that was upon my face as I looked up at the bailiff, who just so happened to know my family. He looked at me and motioned with his mouth, "NO" while moving his head from left to right. I was probably 2 seconds from being cuffed. SMH!

Regardless of how I felt in that moment, there were 2 beings who were/are still counting on me, counting on US and who needed me and US past the divorce, past the break-up, and even past our own feelings.

Same thing for some of you! There are these little "usies" who were created with that other person who need you. They need for you to learn the necessary skills and strategies to ensure that you are communicating from the best perspective to ensure that you nurture their pursuit to grow up and into the best version of themselves. 

There are these beings who still deserve the best opportunities, even if their family dynamics are not those of the traditional 1960's world.

Additionally, what was once a traditional family which consisted of 1 dad, 1 mom, siblings, and 2 sets of grandparents, now has the potential to grow into 2 authoritative male figures, 2 authoritative female figures, countless siblings, and up to 8 sets of grandparents. This has become the norm as family dynamics change.

How in the world is a child suppose to function through all of that? Who do they listen too? Whose voice serves as the dominate one. Even more so, how do you learn to communicate with so many people for the benefit of your children? Better yet, how do you stay sane with all of these people involved in what was supposed to be shared with only a few people?

This is something that I had to learn. During the month of October, I want to take the time to dig into this matter. The holidays are coming up and guess what, I want to help you gain confidence in communicating effectively and in a healthy manner from now until eternity! Yes even past the holidays!

I have the communication skills and conflict resolution strategies that will enhance and promote healthy communication within your Binuclear Family!

Girl what is a binuclear family? I’m glad that you asked. We will dig into that all during the month of October! Sooo..... Talk to you soon! 

Meanwhile make sure that we stay connected HERE

Comment below. I'd love to answer your questions?

Love,

The Binuclear Mom

Your Relationship Coach
Tiffany